You Suffer When You Don’t Need To


We create our own unhappiness. The purpose of suffering is to help us understand we are the ones who cause it.
— Willie Nelson

Oh, Why Do You Suffer!

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Said someone, somewhere, some time ago.

But it wasn’t that Buddha fellah that said it. Back in the day. Though this is the sort of thing enlightened types are wont to say.

Seems this expression of wisdom just came into being, somehow.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

So what does it mean?

Well, it means you don’t have to suffer.

It doesn’t mean nothing bad’s going to happen to you, that you’ll get everything you want, when you want it. It just means you get what you get, and there really is no need to writhe and whale on.

Suffering is the ultimate form of self-harm. Plain and simple.

But no one chooses to suffer. Do they? They’re forced into it, by events and circumstances, and ceaseless, thrashing thoughts.

Actually, suffering is completely chosen. Born out of a misunderstanding, maybe, of how the world acually works – a fearful, unquestioned Outside-In paradigm that falsely equates outcomes with inner peace, happiness and safety.

Born from believing that pain is not inevitable. That it doesn’t happen to everyone. That it is to be avoided at all costs.

Born out of the transmission of suffering

Suffering simply means you’re believing something that isn’t true. That you are separate from others. That you are not loved.

Suffering comes from thinking you know what’s best. That you know what needs to happen next. From believing in that hateful word ‘should’.

Suffering comes from a lack of patience, a lack of love, and a lack of humility.

Suffering comes because you aren’t able to walk the fine line between collapse and posture, sometimes known as composure.

Suffering is created. Pain is real. The meanings you give to that pain… suffering.

Suffering comes from the stories we make up. From the differences in our stories. From my participation in your stories, and your participation in mine.

Suffering comes from me being me and you being you.

But there is no need to suffer because you and I are different, think different thoughts, take different actions.

There is no need to suffer.

At best we could celebrate this curse of individuality. At worst we could simpy be curious about it.

There is no need to suffer.

And once you can see this for yourself, rather than take it on trust from a fellow suffering soul, then you can take suffering for what it really is. Bumps on the side of the road telling you that you’re heading off track.

You can learn to welcome your suffering, even…


Agree with what I’ve shared here? Disagree? Still got questions? Then please leave a comment. 🙂