What it Feels Like When the Answer is ‘Yes’


All we are is love, peace and wisdom, and the power to create the illusion that we are not.
— Jack Pransky

Can I be me and can you be you?

Ohh, let me ponder a moment, as I start to savour this sweet state of allowing.

Can I be me and can you be you? Yes. Yes, we can.

What would *that* look like? And feel like. And be like.

Well, it would look a little like this, I think:

YOU ARE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN. You enjoy the company of others, even if they are unlike you, even if they don’t like you.

YOU DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY. (You like RnB. I like Heavy Metal. No biggie. We both like music.) You recognise that people see things differently. And you don’t take that personally, as it’s about them, and their values and beliefs, and not about you.

(Terry Cole-Whittaker wrote a whole book on this theme, believe it or not. And she called her book, “What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business”.)

YOU TRUST YOURSELF. You listen to yourself. You trust others. And you listen to others. You trust the moment. Because the moment always contains what’s needed, in that moment. And you know that.

And you trust yourself, trust life, because…

YOU KNOW YOU’RE OKAY. You know you’re a human being doing the best you know how in each and every moment. Sometimes you get it wrong, you make mistakes. Sometimes you don’t know any better, you don’t see a better way. And sometimes, most times, you get it right – first time, second time, eventually.

And you know that’s okay. You know there’s no need to pressure yourself to do better, because that kind of pressure isn’t how to to get the best from you.

You know it’s okay to notice, just notice. And let that noticing change things as they will.

You are a human being. You do things the best you know how. And other human beings do the same, And so sometimes they think you could’ve done better, a lot better. Maybe they’re right. Maybe they’re not. But it’s okay, all the same.

Because you know you’re okay. You know they’re okay. You know I’m okay. You know it – you don’t need to read a book about this, you just know it.

YOU DON’T WORRY ABOUT THINGS. You know there’s no need. And when you catch yourself acting ‘out of character’ sometimes – angsting and anxious – you find that funny. Because worrying is a funny thing to do.

You do things, you get things done, but you just don’t worry about it all. You’re not attached to the outcome of your efforts, just the feeling behind them.

It goes as it goes. You know this. You’re just along for the ride.

YOU ARE A GREAT LISTENER. You listen to yourself, your moods – the thoughts that race away all day. And you listen to others. To what they’re saying, not saying, and why. You. Listen. Not always, but mostly. You listen.

Because it makes sense to listen like this. For you. Just like it usually makes sense for you to smile (especially when someone’s smiling at you). Or laugh. Or cry. Or be loud and raucous, or quiet and calm.

You do what makes sense. Because you trust yourself, and the moment.



YOU DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. Hah, that almost goes without saying. You don’t compare yourself to others, or even to a past or future version of yourself. You live in the moment, this moment that is you. And you do your best. Always.

YOU LIVE IN THE MOMENT. And you know what that means. As a lover, a listener, a liver of life. There is only now. But you never say this to anyone. Such triteness. You just live that way. Be the example. Usually. You have your moments, after all, you always have your moments…

YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT WHICH IS YOURS. Like feelings, emotions, thoughts. Like moods, misunderstandings and mistakes. Like love.

You hold what comes through you, listen to it, and respond accordingly. You’re a responder, not a reactor. Most of the time, anyways. You hold that, too, you’re okay when you’re not okay.

You know how life works, how you work – from the Inside-Out. You know this is how life works for you, and you know this is how life works for me, for everyone.

You take responsibility for what is yours, and let me take responsibility for what is mine.


YOU DON’T WANT TO CONTROL, to manipulate or unduly influence.

And YOU DON’T GIVE IT MEANING, because you know there is no meaning. You’ve read that Shakespeare quote from Hamlet, you’ve allowed yourself to smile at it. Y’know, the one that goes,

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking make it so.”

You know you are the thinker, not what you think about. You know a thought is a thought is a thought. Nothing more. You know there is no meaning, just what makes sense to happen. Either acts of love, or acts of fear. Actions that come from a big place, or a small place. From a place of seeing or not seeing.

You know how the world works, how people work. You know why peole do the thigns they do. Why you do what you do.

YOU DON’T TAKE YOURSELF SERIOUSLY. You are not a serious person, though you can be if it’s needed. You know that what life needs most is loving-kindness, gentleness and as much wisdom as you can muster in the moment.

You give that to the world, instead, and save your seriousness for an off-day.

You get what George Bernard Shaw said, when he wrote, “Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”

You don’t take yourself seriously, you don’t take life seriously, you take as you find. And you get on with it.


Agree with what I’ve shared here? Disagree? Still got questions? Then please leave a comment. ????

NOTE TO SELF: maybe rewrite this without the me and the we.