There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.
Everything you’ve ever done. Every mistake you ever made. Every grand plan. All of it. Justified, reasonable and deserved. In that moment.
Yes, that time you cheated, and it all went horribly wrong.
Yes, that time you took pleasure in hurting someone.
Yes, that time you got angry.
Even that time, the next day, when you promised “It will never happen again!”
You just can’t act otherwise. It’s impossible for you to do something you don’t want to do. If you can’t justify it, you can’t do it!
Introducing… the you that feels shame. The you that feels guilt. The you that is angry at “the one that made me do it”.
There’s also the you that feels humbled, too, if you’ll but notice. The you that just doesn’t understand. The you that tries to hide.
Yes, it might have looked like drunken temptation. It might have felt like aggravated rage. It might have seemed that there was no other choice.
But it was you. Acting. In a justified way.
You will justify anything if you want to. This is how you work. THIS is your modus operandi. What makes you tick.
Even familiar feelings like impulse, addiction and habit go unchallenged by you, out of a reasoned “that’s just how I am” justification.
Can you see?
And what you are able to justify changes, from day to day, moment to moment. From “Lying is never okay”, now, to “I can’t tell him that” then. From “I do” on your wedding day to “I want a divorce” later. From “Yes!”, today, to “What was I thinking?” tomorrow.
And on and on the excuses go…
- “I didn’t think you loved me, didn’t think you cared.”
- “Everyone else is doing it!”
- “I deserve this!”
You are a complex work of art. Always dodging, always weaving. Always doing what’s best. And always justifying.
There will comes times when your justifications puzzle you. “What a fool I was to trust them!” So much so, you might start to doubt yourself, might stop believing in the myth that is you.
Hello depression. Hello tormented soul. Or, just, “HELLO!”
You are not who you think you are. You are what you think. And you are most certainly not what you’ve done and will do.
You are simply someone who thinks, and – thoughts justified in that moment – acts on that thinking.
Maybe you couldn’t help yourself. Yes, maybe that’s true. You are not to blame here, this is simply “what you do”.
You can justify anything if you want to.
Rape, murder, and any despicable act – ALL came via a thought that was first justified.
This is what humans do. This is what you do. You justify…
And all made possible via the gift of Thought – your thinking, or your thinking about someone else’s thinking.Thinking that you notice. Thinking that you believe in. Thinking that feels justified.
Prejudice. Meanness. Hostility. Any act of inhumanity. ALL justified first.
Can you see?
There is nothing that you’ve ever done that wasn’t first justified, accepted, by you.
Drop the bomb on Nagisaki. Any witch hunt. Genocide, homicide, suicide. ALL actions that were first justified.
Logic helps. So does rational. As do feelings inside that you simply can’t bear.
And there you are. Deed you wouldn’t normally do, done. With you left trying to explain.
A very simple operating instruction. With fiendishly clever ramifications. One of which being that you can never hide from yourself and what you are capable of. Life will find a way to introduce you to yourself, to prod you into unwanted action.
Until you start to see yourself for who you really are. And you are a thinking machine who lives by justified thought. AND… And you are also a human being that can live by impersonal inspiration.
You know, that place where your best ideas come from. What you’re aware of when you’re aware you’re not thinking. That stillness within.
Returning, a last time to Rumi. He wisely said this:
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.”
Hmm, a world that is too full to talk about, too full to justify.
So what’s it to be for you?
Calculation, explanations, ramifications? Or simply trusting your gut? Simply listening to what feels right. Trusting intuition. Trusting trust.
You will never be able to let go of justifications, either way. Your justifications just won’t feel so important to you, anymore, when you start listening to yourself instead.
You can justify anything to yourself.
You just don’t have to.
There is a better way.
Agree with what I’ve shared here? Disagree? Still got questions? Then please leave a comment. ????
NOTE: I’m not sure of the title. Was originally going to be called, You Will Always Be Able To Justify Yourself